In five years time, Chinese archaeologists will find,
After the universe’s terra has all been mined,
A barren site of destruction in E8,
3EU they’ll dig up artefacts so bate,
Sweaty yoga mat, Illegal barbeques, portable speakers,
Forgotten bags of brown, Lost birkenstocks and airmax sneakers,
“What happened” they’ll ask?
“Seems like it was over so fast?”
The wise one will say, “Man twas over in a day”,
“Me can’t believe, no way!”
“Anyhow, come what may, Shall we smoke this fuckin jay?”

Just a couple of hazmat suited blokes
Sharing a newfound hazy looted smoke,
It transports them back with each toke,

So out of the rubble, now grows a wild flower prairie
In their hazmat suits they’re not wary,
They wade into petals shimmering,
Suddenly rubber skids on tarmac simmering,
Its ballers all slicked and glimmering.
Surrounding, the court, a moat of pretentious haircuts lie
Around, and looked at their clouds, and spy
Differing marketing trends,
They’ve all got the bends, already it’s the ends,
Too late to make amends.

The Chinese see the lido poisoned with exorbitant fees,
Too spenny for local communities,
“But wait there was a local poplace here?
Before the sustainable cardboard and craft beer?”
“Yea, they were always intermittently near.”
“Often the bouji tribe would ignorantly fear,
The blacks and browns, even though some were bouji too”
“Race, gender, age, society separates into who’s who.”
“People say it was officially over when red chinos arrived,
West, south, Islington all bought up, so to Fields, they strived,
Locals who didn’t own couldn’t join the party in their own home,
So most had no choice but to pack up and roam,
Find another cheap spot to cultivate,
So boujis couldcomein downline and instigate,

Avocadofication.

“For the lucky ones that stayed, they existed parallel,
Both tribes looked down on one another, ready to fell,
One another, one tribe had the threat of prices, the other, physical
When locals felt tricked, a trigger was flicked,
and then the bouji bubble was finally pricked,
The tribes battled and violence soared,
It was only normal as the rest of the world warred.”

The Chinese archaeologists watched the ghosts screaming,
Amongst the carnage, Diplo carried on streaming,
And Exhausted bullets of laughing gas rained
As did Jagerbombs, tequila shots,
bloody passata pizza box, all stained
When they felt the earth sighs
And saw ethereal mist rise,
Rays of sun cutting through disguise,
It almost brought tears to their eyes.